It’s summer. People are on vacation, and for those of us who are not, we have either taken advantage of the quiet, or are panicking and wondering “will the phone ever ring again?” The news is not good out there. Markets are crashing. Questions about double-dipping recessions. Riots in the streets. Didn’t we just get through all of this? Wasn’t the economic outlook looking up as of late? Now is not the time to pull the covers up over your head. Now is the time for those who are “panicking” to take advantage of those who are, well, taking advantage of the quiet and might have a calmer perspective and outlook. But where to begin? As Dorothy was shown in the Wizard of Oz, every path has a beginning, and when it comes to legal marketing and business development I like to begin with brainstorming. Brainstorming is great. It’s fun. There are no wrong answers. You get to throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. You get to come up with 30 ideas, knowing you’ll only implement one or two. There’s nothing better to pull you out of the morass of what cannot be then thinking about all the things that can be. Brainstorming can entail the hiring of a consultant, and the use of the large conference room for the day. Or it can be on-the-fly with a friend. And everything in between. I had a great brainstorming session with my college roommate yesterday. While back in college our brainstorming was most likely limited to which club we should start our hopping at, yesterday we spent an hour discussing her legal practice, the economy and where she can make an impact for her firm. Husbands, kids and families were a footnote. She now gets to take what she got out of our brainstorming session back to her partners and look really smart. She has ideas. She has a perspective. She has the beginning of a marketing plan. She has some spaghetti. If you’re not sure where to begin, start with a brainstorming session with a friend on the phone, or walk down the hall to a trusted colleague and shut the door. Then go and brainstorm with someone outside your practice area, perhaps a colleague on a different floor. Then brainstorm with your colleagues within your practice. Partners. Associates. The, ahem, marketing liaison for your practice group. Varying opinions count. Outside perspectives are valuable. Write things down. When the right “ideas” come together, you have the beginning of a plan. Put some “to dos” and deadlines next to those ideas, with measurable outcomes, and you have a marketing plan. If nothing else comes out of this, you’ve pulled those covers back and had a peek at what’s going on outside of your realm. And while it might appear scary and uncertain, you now have some actions you can take to control your destiny (until the next holiday break).

I swear, sometimes I ignore vendor calls because when I am nice and say “no thank you,” they hear “keep calling and try to get her to say yes.”

I posted that on Facebook the other day and the Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time LMA players (Mike O’Horo and Nancy Myrland) chimed in on what my call must have sounded like. We had fun, going back and forth, but, sadly, they weren’t too far off.

“Hey, wanna buy some apples??”

VENDOR: ‎”I’ve got apples. Wanna buy some? These are really good apples. And apples are good for you, too. So, wanna buy some? Did I mention that they’re good? I mean, really good?”

ME: “Um. No thanks, I really don’t need any apples right now.“

“You mean you don’t like apples? Well you NEED to find a way to like apples because I’m selling these apples, and the firm down the street likes these same apples….”

“That’s okay. I’m sure your apples are great, but I’m really not shopping for apples right now.”

“Come on. They like apples at Latham. In fact, I can do a whole presentation on how they like apples at Latham, and at Allen Matkins. They like our apples there, so why don’t I come by next week and show you why you need to buy our apples too? In fact, why don’t you get a group of your senior partners together and I can explain to them why your firm needs our apples?”

“I’m glad they like your apples over at Latham, but I don’t have it in my budget to purchase any apples. I’ve got some pears, and that’s working for us right now.”

“I’m sure your pears are nice, but pears are NOT apples? Did I mention that we have no price increase this year, ya’ know….only $3K an apple, and I’ll throw in a free apple!”

“I really do have to go. But thanks for calling.“

“Wait, wait. Here’s what I can do for you….but I have to check with my boss first. I’ll give you 2 bushels of cherries, also, if you buy a dozen apples? The only thing is that, well, you’ll have to sign a confidentiality agreement if we agree to this so no one else knows the deal I’m giving you … ‘k?”

“No, really. I have to go.”

“Can I send you an email with our materials?”

“Fine.”

Great. I’ll follow up with you next week.

At this point I’ll say anything to get off the phone. Fine. Send me your stuff. I’ll delete it. My office phone rings, and I see your number, I’ll ignore your calls. But, you’re really not doing yourself any favors by being so pushy. I might not need your product today, but one day I might. Maybe here. Maybe at another firm. I might have a colleague looking for what you’re selling. Don’t relegate yourself to being screened out of my professional circle of influence. Don’t be a pushy apple salesman.

Before you think it, yes, I know, another Google+ post, but it’s what I’m learning about right now, and this is my sounding board. The question I’m asking myself right now is: “Is it fair to compare Google+ to Facebook and Twitter?” And, really, do we need ANOTHER social media platform where the uber-user posts another link to their blog post? How will Google+ evolve? And, while we’re at it, what are we calling it? Google Plus? Google+? G+?? As I am using the product, trying to figure it out (because there is no manual), I am finding myself looking to see how Google+ does X or Y the same or better than Facebook and Twitter (and to a lesser extent, LinkedIn). Likes:

  • Clean. Not overly cluttered on the page. Most stuff is in tabs on top.
  • +1 buttons on posts within Google+, and on external blogs (like mine. I already added it).
  • Drag and drop people into circles. Nice and easy to do.
  • Easy to send messages to just one group, or select multiple groups at a time.
  • Can comment in more than 140 characters.
  • Immediate responses in comments without having to refresh the page … makes it almost a group chat.
  • You don’t have to mutually accept one another.
  • No games. Yeah!
  • Feedback button rocks!
  • Get to start from scratch.

Dislikes:

  • I like knowing why I should friend someone. Why should I add these people to my circles? What are the mutual relationships/ties? Why are they being recommended?
  • A Gmail address is a necessary point of entry.
  • You don’t have to mutually accept one another (both a plus and a minus).
  • I want all my emails connected so they stop referring myself to me (or is it me to myself?).
  • It will search my Yahoo, Hotmail and Gmail … but what about my work email?? That’s where I send the majority of my emails.
  • Where are the other 750 million non-tech users? My friends aren’t here yet, and most of them won’t come.
  • I like posting one thing and all of my followers being able to see it. Sometimes I don’t want to have to pick & choose, and it seems unseemly to just add work folks to a personal post, or vice versa.
  • Events. Pages. Groups.
  • Vanity URLs (and something short and snappy. It’s going to have to go on collateral).
  • Posting on someone’s Wall.
  • Photos – I’m not uploading my family pix anywhere near Google.
  • I can’t see other users’ circles (ie Twitter Lists).
  • Hashtags for topical searches.
  • You can +1, but can’t easily share an external post (have to copy/paste the link).

As my dislike list started growing longer and longer, it hit me: Am I being unfair to Google+? Am I giving it a proper try?? Am I being as skeptical as an attorney? Social media as a technology is so new. It is still evolving, and our comparisons for comfort and knowledge are few and far between. Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn have all peculated to the top, so making comparisons to them seems natural.

  • I know that I can do X in Twitter, how can I do it in Google+?
  • I use Facebook to communicate in X manner, how can I do that better in Google+?

I don’t know the answer as to whether or not Google+ is here to stay, or if it’s worth our time. I do believe it’s part of my job to know and understand it so I can explain it to the attorneys in my firm. I am certain that over a short period of time, Google+ will evolve to include an iPhone app, which is how I do a lot of my social networking. In the meantime, I am certain that the folks over at Facebook are quickly learning everything there is to know about Google+ and will roll out new, similar and competing features. As I stated here, I have more questions right now than answers. I’m looking to you to see how you are using Google+. What are you liking or disliking about Google+? I’d like to hear what you have to say. Oh, and while you’re at it, +1 this post below.

Okay. I did it. I accepted Steven Swimmer‘s invitation and have now set up my Google+ account and I’m good to go. I updated my profile, set up some circles, I’m adding people here and there. Right now we all seem to be in the “Hmmm” stage. So far I realized, 1) you have to turn off the e-mail notifications ASAP; and, 2) I have more questions right now than answers. So who out there is checking out Google+?

  • What are your thoughts??
  • How is it different, better, the same than FB, LI or Twitter?
  • Do we REALLY need another social media platform??
  • Or is Google+ a good alternative to one of the others???

Right now a lot of you are already Following, Connecting, Friending and Liking me. Do you need to Circle me too? But, then again, I was just talking to a partner who doesn’t do Facebook. It’s way too outside this person’s comfort zone. I’m thinking Google+ might be a good alternative. Not as impersonal and overwhelming as Twitter, yet not as personal as Facebook. I don’t have the answers to WHAT Google+ is and will be, but you can find and CIRCLE me here: http://gplus.to/heathermorse (if you’ve received an invite to join. I only have 6 more to extend). Oh, and thanks to Nancy Myrland for the tip on where to create my Google+ custom profile URL.

THAT's what a burger is all about

This post has nothing to do with legal marketing. It has to do with me being a mom, which is part of the holistic person, according to my Twitter profile, that I am: “Legal Marketer. Mom. Girl Scout Leader. Wife to the Sports Dude. 80s Music Chick … Tired.”

This post is about my concerns with body image distortion, and what are we, as parents, going to do and say about it?

In case you hadn’t heard, Will and Kate are in my town this weekend. They drove by our house on Friday. The helicopters flew overhead. They are all over the news.

I posted on my Facebook page a photo of Will and Kate getting off the plane, with this comment:

Seriously. Someone throw a canapé in her mouth. What is that? A 20″ waist??? (beautiful dress, BTW, I might have to check that designer out more – Roksanda Ilincic)

photo via www.aceshowbiz.com

The comment, while flippant, spurned quite a serious discussion. My comments weren’t coming from a place of cattiness, but of concern.

I remember staying up through the night to watch Lady Di and Charles get married. I was all of 14 and eating up the fairytale princess story we were being fed by the media.

I followed her like most 14-year old girls follow a princess. I watched her ups and downs, her battles with anorexia and bulimia, her recovery, and her death.

I can’t help but think we’re watching it all happen again with Will and Kate. Fairytale comes to life. Commoner marries prince. Perfect princess. Fashion icon. And the impressionable 14-year old girls here are eating it up.

I’ve kept the TV off for most of this. I don’t want my girls looking to Kate as an example of where they need to be to be beautiful and “normal.”

Kate Middleton in college via Buzznet.com

I will say that the first thing I am doing where body image distortion is concerned is calling it as I see it, and I will challenge any one who says that Kate’s current weight and size are “normal” and “healthy,” especially when compared with photos of her taken just a few short years ago in college where she looks healthy, athletic, perfectly fit and appropriately thin by anyone’s standards.

When someone on my wall, commenting on the current photo, said that “Kate looks just right” and “We are so used to seeing obese women that one her size seems thin,” I had to jump in, “OMG. Kate is not a ‘normal’ size.”

It’s not normal and healthy at 5’10” to be a size zero (which Kate was reported to be on her wedding day). She might be naturally thin, but this is diving well below that marker on the size charts.

It really hit me when I took my then 10-year old daughter to the Gap for the first time to buy some jeans. She’s was a size 0 (and, at 11 is almost a size 2). Perfectly normal for a CHILD who is still growing.

And while a size 0 or 2 might be a healthy size for a short and petite woman, that’s one thing my kids will not be. They are tracking to be as tall, if not taller, than me at 5’8″. Once again, Kate is 5’10”.

But body image distortion just isn’t about the girls.

Men and teen boys are being bombarded by these images in magazines and movies. They too are being fed that these underweight and Photoshopped images are the “ideal” for a woman, that THIS is what is desirable, achievable and normal. In turn, they project this on to the girls around them.

Phillipa Hamilton - Photoshopped vs. Natural

I don’t want my perfectly normal and healthy daughter to be told that she’s too fat, when she’s not. To feel pressure to starve herself to fit a designer’s Photoshopped projection of what is “normal.”

I vow that my daughter’s waist shall and will be bigger than her head, thank you very much.

I spend my days trying to teach my kids about healthy eating, healthy choices, why having some body fat is a good thing. It’s a battle as they are already talking about being too fat and diets, at 8 and 11. So we talk about proportions and balance in what we eat.

I have to keep my mouth zipped when watching what I eat. Like most women, I’d like to lose a few pounds, but I talk about it in regards to healthy food choices, keeping my body in balance, building muscle.

I hope I’m doing a good job. My oldest is off to middle school this Fall, and we’ll find out then, I suppose.

What it comes down to is that I’m just not one of those “stick-your-head-in-the-sand” kind of moms. If I see my girls withering away under stress, I WILL intervene. I will not stand by and say “wow, she’s so beautiful,” while ignoring the bones protruding from her concave chest and pelvis.

So, no, it’s not out of jealousy or bitterness that I say, please, someone, toss a canapé into Kate’s mouth. It’s out of concern that she is walking down a very dangerous path, one I do not wish my daughters, nor yours, to follow.

And, just in case either Will or Kate is hungry before they take off today, there’s an In-n-Out at the entrance to LAX on Sepulveda & Lincoln. I like mine Animal Style.

(edited to move the second paragraph up)

I love a good legal drama/dramedy. It’s like summer-time reading for me. Mindless. Entertaining. Unrealistic to a point. But, come on, I’m not watching them to be challenged and to think, but to be entertained.

LA Law
And when these shows are good, they are great (Law & Order, LA Law). But when the show asks us to completely suspend belief in the legal system itself, I get annoyed and I turn it off.
Law and Order
Considering the millions of people who work directly in the legal industry (lawyers, paralegals, judges, secretaries, accounting, IT, HR, service center, and marketing professionals) or support the legal industry (technology companies, head hunters, sales people, document processors, legal processors, copy services, consultants, web designers, etc), you’d think they’d make the shows just a little, teensy bit realistic these days. I’m not saying that short-short skirts, co-ed bathrooms and dancing babies are realistic, but the legal principles of Ally McBeal were (for the most part).
Ally McBeal
What I appreciated and enjoyed about these shows was that they give us a glimpse into the alternative, fun version of our daily lives. Some of the cases on these shows were way out there in la-la land, but the lawyers, for the most part, acted within the confines of the legal ethics and bar rules to be believed. And, when they didn’t, we could suspend our beliefs long enough to make it through the episode entertained. Franklin and Bash and Suits are two new summer-time shows that are killing me. I want to like them, but I can’t.
Franklin and Bash
Franklin and Bash run around each episode touting how they are breaking the rules of legal ethics and that they don’t care. People, including a partner in the firm, are also running around threatening to report them to the State Bar Association. I just want to scream at the TV, “Do it, already!”
Suits
Suits expects us to believe that a a major US law firm would hire an “attorney” without a law degree, let alone a college degree. I want to see what THAT guy’s profile looks like on the firm’s website. And we’re worrying about inadvertently creating an attorney-client privilege via the comments sections in blogs. I tried watching these shows. Really I did, but I just can’t do it. I can’t sit through a whole episode. I just can’t suspend that much of my knowledge to be entertained by these “legal” shows. Sure, I can accept the unisex bathroom, associates with incredibly large offices with INCREDIBLE views, and the law firm that is only filled with hot (and incredibly smart) attorneys who seem to have personal lives AND time to go to the gym, but I can’t suspend my beliefs that deep down lawyers abide by the legal ethics of the profession. That they will not speak ex parte with a judge;  illegally research and contact jurors; or knowingly hire, pass off as an attorney, and allow to bill on client cases, a person who has not passed the state bar exam. I’m not asking for a “realistic” portrayal of law firm life. Come on. For the most part, it’s just like any other job. Deadlines. Long hours. Crappy coffee (just kidding, the coffee in my office is pretty good). Depositions might be exciting and lead to cat fights on TV, but when I pass by the fishbowl conference room it looks like some people are having a hard time staying awake. When it comes to watching a legal show on TV, I just don’t want to have to call ((cough cough)) “bullshit” ((cough cough) throughout the show, or keep pausing it to explain to my kid that, no, you can’t encourage your client to disrobe in court because you want to prove her bosom is a distraction. Sigh. Where is David E. Kelley when you need him? Well, I guess I’ll just have to stick to time lords, white trash & vampires, and a man who does not age, but chases aliens, for my summer television entertainment.

Like many other law firms, mine is buzzing in regards to the tragic death last week of Los Angeles Skadden associate Lisa Johnstone. I thought this post from Above the Law to be a very well balanced discussion, and I don’t want to discuss Miss Johnstone directly as I did not know her, and I believe her family deserves better respect during this time of grief. That being said, I cannot believe that when Joe Flom joined Skadden Arps as their first associate THIS is what they envisioned for their firm’s future. 100-billable hour weeks. No vacations. Associates dropping dead of heart attacks from the stress. By the time I had made the decision to become a lawyer, Skadden was the gold-standard that young law students aspired to join. Law firms around the country emulated Skadden and would come to envy their PPEP. In 1988, as I studied for my LSATs at a local LA-based law firm of the Skadden model, I made several observations that changed my life. Turns out I didn’t want to work some place where:

  • they catered in Thanksgiving Dinner;
  • pregnant women hid their pregnancies lest they not make partner;
  • fax machines were delivered to laboring women at the hospital;
  • little boys went running “Daddy! Daddy!” to the wrong man.

It wasn’t a hard decision for me. As the envelopes from the law schools started arriving, I just threw them in the trash. I put together a decent resume, and got a job with what is now The Brady Campaign and eventually became a lobbyist. I have had an incredible career that lead me back to the legal industry 13 years ago. My only regret, looking back, is that I didn’t know I had other options for a legal career. I didn’t know that there were other types of law firms, and other lines of legal work outside Big Law, corporate law, criminal law or the DA’s office. Sure there were divorce attorneys and family law, but does anyone go to law school to become one of those? My plan was corporate law. I wasn’t a Chinese studies minor, taking three years of Mandarin, for nothing. When it comes to our careers, it is bad enough when we sacrifice the majority of the hours in our day to our job, but it’s entirely another to sacrifice all the days of our lives. I’ve written on how there are other choices for legal marketers (“Can I get a side order of work-life balance with that job, please?“). I would argue that there are other choices for lawyers (without abandoning the law altogether). But first, you have to get over the idea that you are a victim of your circumstances, or student loans. One of the comments to the ATL post summed my thoughts up well:

Stop blaming the partners for long hours. We associates should blame ourselves for doing this to ourselves. We are the ones choosing to stay late throguh the eveings (sic), come in on the weekends, not say “no” to work and travel, etc. If we grow some balls and push back, the partners will be forced to staff our cases with additional associates; and if there are not enough associates, they will have to hire more. It’s the associates fault for setting the new standard of billing 2500 to 3000 hours per year. If we treat ourselves like shit, why should we expect others (i.e., partners) to treat us any better?

At 32-years old you should be celebrating life. Finding that life partner. Welcoming children. Buying your first house. You should not be dying from stress. Last week I had a moment when I questioned (for just a brief, brief moment) my exodus from Big Law. I have a healthy ego and pride. I admit that I liked the cache that came with saying “I work at (fill in the name of Big Law here).” And while my firm’s name has cache within our industry of practice, I do get inquisitive looks when I say I work at Barger & Wolen from some of my peers. But I don’t care. I LOVE my job. I really enjoy where I work and the people with whom I work side-by-side. I am so excited that we’re going to be conducting our first webinar. And, it’s going to be hosted by that partner who hated the new logo! This is HUGE for us! And we’re hiring associates. Three in total. I am even more excited that I didn’t have to work over the holiday weekend at all. Why??? Because the partners were all enjoying the holiday weekend as well. If anyone was working, they were most likely doing it poolside, or when it didn’t interrupt family and personal time. Partners in my firm go on vacation and they don’t take calls or work. And, when I am on vacation, they leave me be. I’m not saying people don’t work hard at my firm, oh, they do. But when the work is done life is allowed to take place. You don’t have to hide your family/personal life. What it comes down to is that we are all the architects of our own happiness. Mine comes from doing a job well, and celebrating the time outside of work with my family and friends. I talked a lot on my Facebook page that my friend KC Crain died a few weeks ago. He was a friend, father figure, and mentor in life to me. I had the privilege of being in the house the day he died. Sitting vigil, picking family and friends up from the airport. It wasn’t a sad and tragic day, but a celebration of a life well lived, and a beautiful and peaceful send-off. If you asked me what KC did professionally, I would have no idea what to say. He did a little of this, and a little of that. Yet, in the photo montage there was picture after picture of pure joy and happiness. A loving wife. Dear friends. Photos taken from around the worlds, and lots of golf! To me, he lived a life I aspire to live. It wasn’t about the used car he drove, or the rented townhouse in Westchester (Los Angeles) where you can feel the planes landing at LAX. It was about the room filled with more than 500 people who flew in from around the country to say goodbye at his memorial last week. The inspirational goodbyes from around the world captured on Facebook. My husband described the experience in his status update that day:

Attending a memorial service for, what appears to be, a much loved and well respected man, KC Crain. Hundreds of people are here to celebrate his life. I never met KC, but he obviously touched many people and was an inspiration to all who knew him. Here’s to you, KC!

And, isn’t that what we should strive for? To leave a void that cannot be filled when we depart this world? We are all expendable at work, but NONE of us should be expendable in our lives. It’s just not worth it.

I’m perusing my Reader at the moment and came across a great post by Chris Brogan: The Biggest Secret of Social Media. His big secret?

If you don’t like people very much, it won’t work very well.

In the post Chris recounts how in a recent interview the first question asked was “how one might automate all their social media usage and save time.” Insert collective UGH! As Chris points out, there’s nothing wrong with using the tools at hand to assist you

Using tools to better perform your tasks isn’t wrong. Rather, the goal is that you use these tools in service of better serving your buyers. Listening tools are awesome. Scheduling tweets isn’t evil, provided you’re mixing it in with organic tweets.

However, if your goal is to step back and automate the entire process so you don’t have to participate, then social media is not for you. I often say that the goal of social media is to be social, but Chris summed it up best towards the end of his post (emphasis added):

Most folks who read [chrisbrogan.com] already know that being human is the goal. That’s the thing. The people who don’t care about people are reading blogs with posts that say “Dominate Your List!” So, it’s not that I told you something you don’t know. Instead, this is kind of a “resist the pull to the dark side” post. Remember why you were drawn to social media. And look for ways to expand that secret power of yours into something that shows value to the others, so that they see your perspective on this.

I couldn’t agree more, and I couldn’t say it better.

I sat down last night to watch the first episode of TNT’s new show Franklin and Bash which has been collecting dust in my DVR for the past few weeks.

I was looking forward to a dramedy with lawyers. Something I could chuckle at, and, yes, maybe get some inspiration for the blog.

So, here’s my take on the show:

Legal ethics be damned, we’re gonna do what we want in the name of entertainment.

I get that it’s just Hollywood having fun, but, really, this show should should come with a legal disclaimer.

During the first scene I found myself pausing the show to explain to my daughter “No, lawyers cannot do that. It’s a violation of the Rules of Professional Conduct.” I then had to explain what legal ethics were to an 11-year old who was just trying to push her bedtime back to hang out with her mom.

Scene:

  • Pan in on huge digital billboard of scantily clad woman doing and saying provocative things.
  • Pan over to Franklin and Bash eating lunch in the diner across from the billboard.
  • Huge crash in the background.
  • F&B jump up and rush to the car, each shoving a business card at the driver who rear-ended an SUV.
  • They each promise to get him big money … he’s the victim.
  • All the while , the driver of the SUV is whining that he hit her. What about her??

OK. Lawyers and non-lawyers alike: You can’t do this.

I’m seeing several violations of the California State Bar Association’s Rules of Professional Conduct (where the show takes place), but here’s what was glaring to me:

Rule 1-400 Advertising and Solicitation

(C) A solicitation shall not be made by or on behalf of a member or law firm to a prospective client with whom the member or law firm has no family or prior professional relationship, unless the solicitation is protected from abridgment by the Constitution of the United States or by the Constitution of the State of California. A solicitation to a former or present client in the discharge of a member’s or law firm’s professional duties is not prohibited.

(D) A communication or a solicitation (as defined herein) shall not:

(5) Be transmitted in any manner which involves intrusion, coercion, duress, compulsion, intimidation, threats, or vexatious or harassing conduct.

Pursuant to rule 1-400(E) the Board of Governors of the State Bar has adopted the following standards, effective May 27, 1989, unless noted otherwise, as forms of “communication” defined in rule 1-400(A) which are presumed to be in violation of rule 1-400:

(1) A “communication” which contains guarantees, warranties, or predictions regarding the result of the representation.

  • You cannot rush an accident scene and hand out your business cards to people you with whom you have no prior relationship.
  • You cannot overwhelm an accident victim by intruding on their vehicle, shoving your business card through the open windows.
  • You cannot guarantee that you’ll get the person a big settlement if they call you.

I might not be a lawyer, and I definitely don’t play one at work, but I can read the Rules of Professional Conduct and discern a glaring and blatant violation when I see it.

Otherwise, fun show. I love Malcolm McDowell. And, seeing Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s naked tush coming out of a jacuzzi … well, that lead to another memorable mother-daughter moment.

Cruising down the Mississippi on our way to Mexico - New Orleans in the background
If we’re friends on Facebook, you know that the Sports Dude and I have a lot of fun. My kids have a lot of fun. We have a lot of fun. When we got back from our latest trip, I heard from several people that they live vicariously through our posts, and look forward to the pictures and things that we share. I was a bit taken aback by that. I enjoy sharing bits and pieces (and sometimes huge chunks) of my life, because I am so enjoying my life and I want to share that. It’s also easier than making individual calls to my mom, dad, three sisters, sister-in-law, brother and numerous nieces, nephews and friends, giving each of them an individual update. It’s simple, really. If you want to know what’s going on in my life, go to my Facebook page. So, when I saw this floating around Facebook recently, Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed, I had to pause and take the “test”:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Phew. I passed the test. To me, happiness and enjoying your life are choices. You can be miserable, or you can do something about it. Living your life fully and happily doesn’t mean quitting your job, leaving your marriage, getting into yoga and meditation, reconnecting with childhood friends, and rekindling a romance with your high school sweetheart. It did for me, but your path to happiness is unique and your own. Today I am happy because I choose to be. I am fully engaged in the lives of my kids, my husband and my friends. I love my job and my career. I have more energy to give to everything, because my energy isn’t being zapped by depression, and trying to “act” as if I am happy, engaged, etc. Yes, I will admit, the Sports Dude and I have a lot of fun. But we also deal with illness, sadness and heartache.

  • SD still needs a couple surgeries until he can be removed from the DL and back to work full time.
  • One of my dearest friend’s husband died last week after battling cancer.
  • On top of that, one of our mutual friends, who flew in to help this week, flew out last night as her brother died suddenly.

But through it all, there is a sense of purpose and peace amongst us all, because we have collectively chosen to live our lives to their fullest. So, please, enjoy my pictures, but go take some of your own. You don’t have to go on a cruise to to Mexico to have fun and live life to the fullest. You can hike to the top of the mountain, or down to the shore. You can find the simple things in a concert in the park, or strolling around a local zoo. I’m sure my posts will return to all things legal marketing when my heart is there, but just for today, I am much more than just a legal marketer. I am a mom, a wife, a friend, and I have no problems sharing those with the collective you. They are what differentiate me from the next person. And, isn’t that really what legal marketing is all about??