It’s two months today since my last “official” work day at McGlinchey Stafford; I figure it’s time for an update on me … and the Sports Dude.

So as we were scrambling to figure out those last days at the firm, the Sports Dude and I were scrambling to figure out what that swollen lymph node was all about that he noticed last year. They did an ultrasound and now they wanted to do a biopsy … but our insurance was going to be cut off on Friday COB. So we scrambled again and moved his biopsy up to that last day.

Yes. Cancer. Now what?

More scrambling. Found a new insurance plan to take over on March 1 (holy, hell, that’s expensive), which was great because his exploratory surgery (and tonsillectomy) was scheduled for a few days after that.

Cancer confined to his left tonsil. Very good news. 95% cure rate. Fantastic. Gonna have to start six rounds of chemo and 33 radiation treatments. Not so great, but we’ll get through it. Not our first medical rodeo after all.

And here we are. At the midway point in his chemo. He’s tolerating the treatments quite well and just starting to experience some of the discomfort from the radiation that will turn into pain very soon in his throat.

So what about me?

I’m still #OpenForWork in the broader sense of the term, but I have been able to pick up some consulting work that will stretch our savings. A 0% credit card for the insurance premiums and expenses is coming in handy, credit score be damned.

I often share that in my life it is only in hindsight that I can see that I was exactly where I was supposed to be all along. However, when I’m in good spiritual conditioning, I can see things in real time. And boy is the time real right now.

Turns out that I had really picked up my 11th Step (prayer and meditation) practice at a good time last year, diving into some journaling for the first time since my college boyfriend read my journals.

I was feeling all Zen and then Q4 of 2025 hit: My dad died suddenly on October 1; there was a breakdown in my relationship with my mom who was living with us at the time; McGlinchey’s implosion; and, Eric’s health taking a turn towards cancer.

It’s easy to say that you are where you’re supposed to be when everything is going your way, but I also have an ego and a healthy amount of fear and I was vacillating between Zen/being in the moment and WTF??? And there were days that WTF was winning.

Am I really where I’m supposed to be?

So why the over sharing? First of all, I know I am not alone in life challenges, and if no one shares what is going on, then we all feel alone. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like feeling like I’m alone. And you’re not alone.

Secondly, I am fortunate to have picked up some consulting work from InOutsource on a passion project. Not sure if that will turn into more, but right now, it’s where I’m supposed to be. I am so grateful to be working along side this team (and more about that at a later time), which could really bring solutions to a challenge many marketing/BD teams are experiencing.

Finally, it’s not easy to stay in the zone of “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.” It takes focus and work. I’m on a 60-day streak with Insight Timer (it takes 66 days to change a habit) and journaling most days. I’ve had to quiet the negative voices around me and really take action when the fears (especially fears around our finances) get to me. I get knocked off my Zen several times a week and have to scramble back each and every time.

But in this moment, I am:

  • doing work that has purpose;
  • able to be there for the Sports Dude when he needs me, and;
  • able to take care of my own physical, spiritual, and mental health.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know next week I’ll be showing up for the LMA Annual Conference that is conveniently located here in New Orleans this year; I will finish my certification in Generative AI & AI Agent Organizational Strategy for Leaders from Vanderbilt University; I will be sitting beside the Sports Dude for three more Tuesday’s as he goes through his chemo; and, I will be at 7/8 days of Jazz Fest. And then it will be May.

Lawyers, by nature, are risk averse. They lack resilience. Don’t take my word for it, Dr. Larry Richard has done the research. So it comes to no surprise that lawyers and law firms have been unnervingly silent regarding the administration’s recent actions against lawyers, law firms, the First Amendment, as well as the rule of law.

I was very heartened to see the American Bar Association (ABA) take a public stance yesterday in their statement, The ABA rejects efforts to undermine the courts and the legal profession. I know most people won’t click through to read their statement, so I will post the full text at the end of this post. But first, I need to explain why I stand with the ABA and why I have signed onto a petition asking the Legal Marketing Association (LMA), where I had the pleasure of serving on its International Board of Directors, twice, to also speak up boldly and loudly in support of rule of law.

Why I stand with the ABA

My family fled Eastern Europe during the Pogroms. If you’ve seen Fiddler on the Roof, that was loosely based on the Kishinev Pogrom that my great-grandparents and their children survived (my grandfather was born soon after), and what drove them to America. I only know this because of researching my family’s ancestry. Silent generation and all.

Continue Reading What’s stopping you from standing up for the rule of law?

We live in interesting times. That is just a factual statement.

Right now, many people feel insecure, scared, and confused, while others feel just fine, perhaps elated and emboldened. That isn’t anything other than a factual statement as well.

In our leadership roles, we often talk about bringing our authentic selves to work, but does that include politics, one of the biggest taboo topics for work (along with religion)? And when we say work, is that just our offices? What about LinkedIn?

A few different LinkedIn posts in recent weeks have caught my attention, and I liked them. I did not think they were controversial but informative. What caused me to sit up in my chair were the comments from some of my 1st Connections that were, to say the least, combative, including commands not to post these types of things on LinkedIn.

My first instinct at that point was to put fingers to keyboard and respond, in all caps, “YOU KNOW WE CAN ALL SEE WHAT YOU JUST POSTED.”

But I refrained. But I did file those comments away.

I am not of the mindset that we cannot discuss politics (or religion) at work. It just needs to be done with a #3E mindset: Engage, Educate, Entertain. And I’ll add a fourth “E” for good measure: Empathy.

It is true that not being political is a privilege. It is also true that taking a position on current events may not necessarily be political but moral.

For me to be my authentic self, you need to know something about me, my family, and my experience. And I can do that without inflammatory rhetoric.

After sharing my thoughts, I can politely agree to disagree with you. Or perhaps I just give a “like” to your post to let you know that I hear you, I see you, and I value you and your opinion. A supportive comment to someone who has shared their vulnerabilities can go a long way. And, if it should move me, I might actually create a post to share my experience to engage, educate, and perhaps entertain you.

Through it all, I am acutely aware, and you should be as well, that anything I post publicly on any social media site can be seen by anyone. But when I post on LinkedIn, anything I post or comment on is immediately connected back to my firm and my professional role. I am, after all, wearing firm merch in my profile picture.

So post, comment, and like as you are so moved. But be mindful that anyone and everyone can see your posts. And perhaps keep that “E” for empathy close by as your final filter.

For those who follow me, you know I am not big on New Year’s resolutions. I prefer daily resolutions or intentions.

But this year, I’d like to introduce a new concept: Why not set aside everything you think you know?

Stay with me here.

I was in a meditation meeting on Friday, where we began by reciting a version of the “Set Aside Prayer.” My personal one is:

God, help me to set aside everything I think I know about you, me, these steps, and my recovery so that I may have an open mind and a new experience with all these things. Please help me to see the truth.

And it hit me for the first time in that moment that I could replace “these steps” and “my recovery” with anything: My relationship. My job. My career.

The clarity was immediate. The fog that had been swirling around me lifted. Energy and excitement about the possibilities flowed in.

On a coaching call this morning, I challenged the attorneys to set aside everything they think they know about their clients, their practice, and the services they provide for a new experience in all these things.

Later today, I will challenge my team to set aside everything they know about our sales and coaching program, our PR campaigns, our annual client survey, our annual signature client event … absolutely EVERYTHING we do for an open mind and a new experience in all these things.

By opening ourselves up to a new experience in all things, what fresh ideas will we uncover? What “tried and true” things will we retire? Is there a better, more efficient way to achieve the same goals? Will we look at the challenges and find possibilities?

I don’t know. But my intention is to begin this year with a new perspective, so:

God, help me to set aside everything I think I know about legal marketing, the legal industry, and my role at my firm for an open mind and a new experience in all these things. Please help me to see the truth.

Is it just a coincidence that my last blog post was on September 7, 2021, or serendipity? Two years. Yeah, I know. It’s been busy and I’m finding good engagement on LinkedIn and have been pondering the value of blogging, but I’ll write more on that later (the short answer is, yes, there’s value).

But I want to talk about Twitter. I refuse to call it X, for many reasons, so just hang with me on this.

Twitter Dumpster Fire

If you’ve been on Twitter since its change in ownership, you’ve obviously recognized the dumpster fire it has become. But like any bad relationship, I just haven’t been able to let it go.

Over the years I have cultivated relationships and curated lists on Twitter (and Tweetdeck, RIP) that deliver me the information and news that I seek. I just haven’t come to that point of acceptance that it’s over and that it might be time to delete my account, although I’ve been pulling away and flirting with other apps.

But I believe I am there now.

This past weekend the rise in anti-Semitism on Twitter has been furious. As a (culinary) Jew and as a human being, I just cannot stand by or just silently walk away.

Twitter: A Neighborhood of Broken Windows

For those not paying close attention, listen to Charlie Sykes’ interview with Will Saletan on this episode of The Bullwark Podcast starting around 43:43 for a full discussion on this topic, but this is what got me to stop in my tracks this morning:

The online world operates a lot like the offline world in the sense of Twitter has become a neighborhood with broken windows. And all of the anti-Semites and the racists have looked at it and see that the police have been removed, that is, all the folks who used to work at Twitter who kept an eye out for content like this, they are gone and [Elon] Musk doesn’t care. He has signaled that with everything that he says. So those folks have all moved in. They have recognized this as a good home so the entire site is becoming a crack den for anti-Semites and bigots of all kinds.

The Bullwark Podcast, Will Saletan: The Hammer Philosphy of Governing, 45:54

So, with that, I will move to download my Twitter history and deactivate (can you really delete it??) my personal accounts. In the meantime, make sure to follow or connect with me on LinkedIn for business-related posts and I’m thinking about keeping my Threads more social.

And, Zuck, is it too much to ask for Gifs, lists, and hashtags?

I’ve been meaning to write on this event for years but wanted to give enough time between the conversation and now for anonymity. I share about this conversation often because it is something most women relate to and it has nothing to do with people who sat around the conference room table that day. 

Sitting in the conference room on a bright, sunny day were a group of law firm leaders, all men, save for myself and the woman partner to my left. We were discussing an upcoming firm event to be held at the home of one of the partners later that evening. When asked if he was good with the event scheduled to begin just hours from then, the partner responded, “My wife is handling all the details” and then went casually back to his conversation unconcerned about caterers, menus, table linens, what time was he going to sneak out of the office, decorations, were the toilets cleaned, music, and what would the neighbors say about all the cars.

The conversation around the table then turned to who picks up the dry cleaning (the wives). Who takes/took the kids to the doctor’s appointments (the wives). Who coordinates the after-school activities (the wives). Who handles the shopping, the cooking, the household (the wives). Vacations (the wives). His parents (the wives).

After much discussion around the table, I leaned to my left and whispered to the only other woman in the room, “I am the wife.” And she looked at me with exuberance, understanding, connectedness, and whispered, “Me too!” A secret bond between us born.

But back to the conversation around the table, and it was unanimously decided to make sure the firm sent the partner’s wife flowers to thank her for all her hard work.

Forget never letting them (whoever “them” or “they” are) see us sweat. We can never let them see us “wife.” But those days, I hope, are nearing their end.

(end scene)

When we discuss women in law, and why women leave the law, and why women do not achieve partnership in law firms (which is very nuanced, but THIS topic is PART of the issue, not the whole of it), we cannot do so without discussing the “hidden load,” as described in this BBC article: The hidden load: How ‘thinking of everything’ holds mums back. Continue Reading “I am the wife,” I said.

Whew. I am putting fingers to keyboard for the first time in what feels like forever. It was at least a pandemic, a new liver (for the Sports Dude), and an insurrection ago. I don’t even remember when (although I could easily look it up).

Are you still there, dear readers? How are you? How is your family? Are you thriving, surviving, or just hanging on?

Did 2020 make you stronger? Find a new you? Make changes for the better?
Did it overwhelm you? Knock you off balance? Kick your ass? Or a combination of it all?

Was there a right way or a wrong way to do 2020?

It’s Not Always About Me

Eric S. Geller – Before (r) and After (l) Liver Transplant

I feel as if I am coming out of a haze. Just prior to the pandemic’s beginning the Sports Dude’s health took a bad turn. As you may or may not know, he suffers from acute ulcerative colitis and had to have his colon removed about 15 years ago. There was a chance that he would develop primary sclerosing cholangitis, which he did, and that it could go acute, which it did, necessitating a liver transplant, which he had on October 10, 2020.

As we met with the Liver Transplant team at Oschner Medical Center and spoke with his liver doctor back in Los Angeles, we discovered we were in the right place. Continue Reading Are you there blog? It’s me, Heather

I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Gina Rubel for her new podcast On Record. My topic: How to Differentiate Yourself and Your Law Firm.

The program was recorded at the end of March 2020 when we were deep in the COVID-19 pandemic, so we could not not discuss how firms and lawyers not only can differentiate themselves in these times, but break through the noise and be heard.

It’s Wednesday, which looks a lot like Tuesday and Friday and Sunday around here.

I’ll head to work in a few minutes (down the hall from the couch in the living room where I current sit) and never realize I did not step outside once all day. I’ll be on Zoom after Zoom, call after call, write, respond, watch a webinar, miss a webinar, eat too much, not drink enough water, always with an eye on the news in the background, listening to my family in the background, the dogs, the ducks wandering by.

I am privileged to be able to tune out the pandemic while trying to work from home.

As I go about my days, being able to connect to one another, our experiences, fears, doubts, humanity is what will get us through this.

And still, this morning when the reminder to check into my flight to New York, where my husband and I were going to celebrate our anniversary early, I just felt deflated. Our NYC trip is postponed, again. Two years in a row.

Last year our trip was postponed as I was beginning a new job. Ironically, my first day was on a plane to NYC to attend the firm’s Annual Members Meeting with three full suitcases packed as I wasn’t headed home, but to our new life in New Orleans via Atlanta.

This year our trip is postponed because of this pandemic that is devastating our world–physically, economically, spiritually, and emotionally.

And you know what? It’s okay.

It’s okay to lament something that seems so trivial–a missed trip or experience–while feeling grateful that your family is safe, while watching the world fall apart amidst so much suffering.

It’s okay to not really know what day of the week it is. To feel whatever way you are feeling.

What’s not okay is to lose our connection to one another. At this moment in time, the world is having a shared experience. Every single person on this planet has this one thing in common. We are all connected. Forget Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. We are Six Degrees of Coronavirus.

So whoever you are, where ever you are, what’s your day like today? Where’s the first place you’re going to go to eat when the restaurants reopen? Where will you travel to? What are you missing most right now?