us at LMAYes, I’ve been in San Diego since Saturday for the “pre-prom” get togethers. In LMA I have met some of my dearest friends, mentors, colleagues, bosses, inspirations. LMA has allowed me to grow and develop my craft, while maintaining my sanity. I know the Twitter hashtag (@LMA15) has been blowing up for days, the pictures in the LME Facebook groups are flowing, but the conference actually just kicked off with a great timeline video (Happy 30th Conference Anniversary, LMA). Dan Pink is our keynote. Were going to learn a 1-3-5 … so let us begin: 1 Insight

Why do lawyers hate sales, marketing, and business development?

Dan went out and researched: “When you think of ‘sales’ or ‘selling,’ what’s the first word you think of?” Answers from the audience: cars, sleazy, pushy … When the seller has more information than the buyer, when the buyers are not aware, this is what you get: wordcloud Here’s the big insight: We no longer live in a world of “buyer beware,” but “seller beware.” We live in a fundamentally different world where the buyer is now in the stronger position. Thank you, Google (and how many years have I been saying this??). The low road has now been blocked. We have to take the high road. 3 Principles


This is perspective. Can you get out of your own head and get someone else’s perspective? Can I get the business perspective of the clients? Can I gt the perspective of perspective clients?

Attunement is a cornerstone. In any realm we have very little power. We need to find the common ground.


How do you explain away the failures and rejection are one of the keys to success. The ability to bounce back from rejection is so important.

How many lawyers are rejected once and NEVER go back to the well, or try again? Yeah, I’ve encountered that.


Access to information is power. Moving from “accessing information” to “curating information” is powerful. Being a problem solver is not as important today is as important as being a problem finder.

5 Takeaways

  1. INCREASE YOUR EFFECTIVENESS BY BRIEFLY REDUCING YOUR FEELINGS OF POWER. Is your natural instinct to look at things from your perspective or the other person’s perspective? People in key power can be too self-involved and will not see the other person’s perspective. Huh?? Think about it. A junior person is very aware of all the people above them, and what they want, what they need, what they are concerned about. More senior people will not be as concerned about those lower on the power scale. By reducing your FEELINGS of power, you will get more attunement, buoyancy, and clarity. Very interesting.
  2. USE YOUR HEAD AS MUCH AS YOUR HEART. When studying attunement in a professional setting you want people who can imagine what the other side is THINKING, and what the other side is FEELING. Turns out that THINKING is the more important than the two (in a professional setting). You need to focus on thoughts and interests, not what they are feeling.
  3. PAY ATTENTION TO OTHERS’ POSTURE, GESTURE, AND LANGUAGE. THEN REFLECT THOSE BACK WITHOUT BEING AN IDIOT ABOUT IT. When two groups were sent into to negotiate, one group was given the extra instruction to “mimic” the person they are selling. If they touch their face, you touch your face. They cross arms, you cross arms. They stand funny, you stand funny. So, which group did better???? Yeah, the group that mimic the other person’s behavior. Why? There is a language aspect to mimicking. By mimicking you are paying attention, you are getting their perspective. You need to use their language.
  4. DON’T BE A GLAD-GANDER. BE YOURSELF. Who are better sales people, introverts or extroverts? Since I have been wrong all day … I’m going with introverts sell more. DAMN, Wrong again. Extrovers do slightly better. But AMBIVERTS do greatly better. What the hell are AMBIVERTS??
    • Ambiverts have introvert and extrovert traits, but in balance. See if you recognize any of these ambivert traits: Ambiverts are more flexible. They don’t really prefer one way of functioning over the other
  5. GIVE PEOPLE AN OFF-RAMP. We spend too much time trying to change people’s mind. Give them an easy way to act.